How John Abraham has put his ass-ets to good use to chart Bollywood career

(First published on Firstpost.com)
When John Abraham displayed his well-sculpted posterior on the poster of Karan Johar’s Dostana, one would not have known he is no dumb, cute ass. If Johar knew how to use that asset in short trunks in a film poster, Abraham knows better.

Using Sylvester Stallone’s ‘Rocky’ image, he is quick to remind the industry and us that we have our own desi muscled boy with cool moves, amongst us. Following this master’s footsteps as a producer, Abraham proves he is a smart ass who uses his cute butt, sexy brawn and smart producer brain.

After experimenting as producer on two very unlikely but superb films like Vicky Donor and Madras Café, he finally dares to bare in his own third home production.

The 43-year-old actor-turned-producer has come a long way since his debut in Jism for which he was nominated for a Filmfare award. Instead of taking such nominations seriously and trying to eke out performances, he has worked on his major strength — his fabulous body. And how. He realises he doesn’t need to do much to act like a hero in a Hindi action, Korean remake thriller like Rocky Handsome. All he needs to do is move his sexy butt in slow motion. Rewind. Slo mo.

His passion for sports and fitness does the rest. Fast-forward to some fight scenes in Rocky Handsome. One must not forget that the film is more of fight videos put together along the lines of music videos, pretending to have a story. Abraham doesn’t disappoint. He delivers some deft martial arts moves where he plays with a knife in quick successive motions on the villain’s body as if finely mastering the art of chopping an onion. Boys will love such toy sports. Girls will just drool every time Abraham takes off his black singlet and there are many such moments. Particularly noteworthy is the one where he bleeds with a bullet stuck in his gut and bravely pokes those toned abs to yank out the bullet. The sheer lack of originality is secondary to a fit, naked torso.

Back to slo mo in some hooded black outfit. Forward to a straight jump on a car, kneeling as if to pray and then swishing out a gun to aim at a bulletproof car. Batman fans will be mighty impressed. The posture is picture perfect. It’s that precious climax moment when he faces the bad, bad taklu (full marks for novelty) villain, Nishikant Kamath, who happens to be the director of the film. You can only admire that beautiful sight in black, kneeling with a gun, instead of biting your nails and thank God for that. Who needs more stress in life?Besides working on his sexy, controlled moves, knife et al, Abraham does the next wise thing. He chooses to play it silent and mysterious. Instead of romancing an equally sexy heroine and doing his nth Jism number he decides to do aBajrangi Bhaijan-meets-Jackie Chan and plays silent uncle to an irritating eight-year-old girl who calls him “handsome” in Rocky Handsome.

She also paints one of his nails. How cute is that? John Abraham, the macho, rugged, strong and silent hunk, doesn’t mind a painted nail on himself and is pretty much tolerant of the nuisance bag who is made to parrot lengthy lines like a grown up.

Abraham simply remains silent. Now that’s a true hero who doesn’t waste his breath. He lets his perfect ass-ets talk.